Gift giving while living a simpler life

An over the top holiday

The deepest point of our overindulgence during holidays was about 8 years ago.  Our oldest son was 5 and among many other gifts we also purchased a real go kart, not one of those plastic ones that are expensive enough, but a real $700 go kart with a gas motor!  I know, what were we thinking...

When we are kids we really put together the concepts in our heads of what our expectations are for things.  For me that included holidays and it was somewhat of a mixed bag.  Some years I had very little and longed for the types of things my friends got, other years it was over the top and as an only child I would get loads of presents.

Once I had kids, I longed to give them everything they wanted. I fretted over equal amounts of gifts for each child, about filling up the space under the tree, and about how I could out do the previous year.  More than that, I also made sure to have fancy outfits, Christmas cards (most times taking multiple rolls of film to get the "perfect" shot), matching jammies for Christmas morning, the right amount of decorations, a huge tree, tons cookies made, etc, etc, etc.  The expectations are what needed to change!

How did we go from there to here?

I am sickened when I look back at all that self induced stress and money down the drain.  But I am so proud as I now see the positive effects on the children and ourselves.  Had we continued down that path I believe that the kids would be very consumer driven and all around different kids.

Here is how we rid ourselves of consumer driven habits.  It all starts as a mindset so we began by looking at the poverty levels around the world, educating ourselves on a deeper level, and purposefully teaching empathy to the kids and ourselves.  It was and is a great way to keep things in perspective.  This perspective really made us grateful for the things we have.

The next step for us began 7 years ago.  We asked family and friends to stop buying our children and ourselves gifts and we let them know that we would no longer be purchasing gifts for them.  In the place of actual gifts we would be making donations in their names to charities or organizations that we hoped would be appropriate.  We started to realize just how over-privileged we were and thought making donations to charities in the name of our loved ones would be the best thing we could do.  What the hell did we need another sweater for?

Likewise, the people we bought gifts for already had everything they needed as well and buy themselves whatever the need whenever they want.  There were a few family members that thought this was radical and against the spirit of the season, but we figured anyone that wasn't OK with this doesn't realy understand our view of the season and we wouldn't let their negative thoughts bother us.

Next we observed!  Watching the insanity that unfolded year after year on Black Friday, even the kids were wondering what on earth is going on with people.  "How can it be that someone's life is not as important as some item on the wishlist", my oldest asked one day.  It seems that society places value on "things" more then practically anything else in life. That in itself helped us to see that less is best and to focus on experiences and happiness.  True happiness that isn't guided by new gadgets but by loved ones and life itself.

I am so proud of my boys who have really shed the attachment to physival items and love to just have 1 on 1 time with one of us or to take a trip someplace new.  Without a regular stream of TV, they are never bombarded with commercialism and so when Christmas comes along they don't even know what to ask for.  A simple basketball or skateboard is typically all they want.  One year they asked to go to the store before Christmas so they could see what was available.  This was never an issue in the US, they always knew what was avaialable and what everyone else had. Since we started to travel, they don't even seem to notice as most of our friends are also not into consumerism.

Every year we seem to minimize material aspect of holidays, but not the celebration.
So what will Christmas look like this year?

The sky is the limit, an experience driven Christmas

This year and every year from this point on we plan to make birthdays and holidays more centered on experiences then consumption.  1 small gift each and a family trip is all that is on my mind for this year.  My oldest son has already decided that what he would like most for Christmas is to trek to Everest base camp, not a new iPhone (although he would gladly take it, he is an almost teenage boy after all), not a over indulgent party but an experience rich with hard work, diversity, and pre-thought.  I am not sure if base camp at Everest will happen this year, although we will try our hardest to make it a reality for him in the future (maybe his birthday in March), but either way if what we focus on is experiences and true happiness then the children will also focus on the same.


So which path will you set for your children this holiday season?




Check out how other travelling families feel about holidays now:

Pearce On Earth: A Different Kind of Christmas