In this article, I will go over different methods of learning on the go, the merits of combining travel with education, and some of my thoughts on the questions that alternatively minded parents have grown accustomed to hearing over the years.
An Introduction to Travel as Education:
There are plenty of different ways that traveling parents choose to educate or support their children abroad, and all of them are valid. Some families take comfort in having more structure, while others are fine with flexibility and spontaneity in regards to learning opportunities. Below are 3 main styles that I have identified, however, it’s important to note that there are as many unique educational styles in the world as there are individual families.
Homeschooling
Homeschoolers are those that choose to follow a curriculum whilst traveling. That being said, there are a few different types of homeschoolers, including Traditional Homeschoolers who tend to follow state or school-district approved curricula, and Eclectic Homeschoolers who mix and match their schooling materials, often incorporating their travel destinations as part of their study content. Families with children that strive with clear direction, discipline and structure tend to find some type of Homeschooling to be the best fit while traveling.
Self-Directed Learning
Also known as autodidactism and sometimes associated with ‘Unschooling’, proponents of Self-Directed Learning operate on the principle that learners should be empowered to seek out their own education and supported in their choices as a student. This method synergizes beautifully with travel, as exposure to new experiences and immersion in different cultures can spark interest in subjects such as history, science, economics, biology, language, and many, many others. This style of education is for those who thrive with a sense of freedom and can allow ambitious and eager learners to excel in their own learning process.
Traditionalism
Traditionalists believe in the merits of a structured, brick and mortar school setting, and will often seek out schools, classes, and courses in their host countries. Though in some senses this approach can be restrictive whilst traveling, there’s something to be said about it facilitating connections between your family and the local community, and is often viewed as a short-cut to meeting locals and forming bonds and friendships with them. Other benefits include a strong sense of cultural understanding (ie: doing what the locals do) and one of the best approaches to immersive language learning.
The Merits
Travel and education go hand in hand, with the union of the two making way for more integrated learning, personal growth, soft-skill development and shifting perspectives. When having a conversation about travel as education, It’s important to remember that not every classroom has four walls. Here are a few of the many notable merits that pertain to this rich and complex topic.
Relevancy
The proximity to subject matter when traveling tends to make the opportunity for learning more personal, ultimately resulting in a deeper and more gratifying experience. Students and learners who can see themselves and their relationship to the subject in perspective are able to recall information and knowledge with greater ease than those who may have simply studied the same topic from a static source. Travel tends to make things personal, and a student who has visited, experienced and related to a topic is more likely to understand it than someone who has only witnessed it second hand.
Experiential Learning
Something similar can be said for experiential learning as well (or, to put it simply, ‘learning by doing’). Experiential learning is the oldest and most familiar method to mankind for knowledge and skill acquisition, predating the modern-day understanding of ‘schooling’ for thousands of years. This is something that is accessed commonly when traveling abroad. Some key examples of this are: doing volunteer work with local projects, budgeting, and planning and language learning through conversation.
Worldview and Cultural Awareness
Though the other merits listed above are also significant, in my opinion, this element is the most important one of all. By immersing ourselves in a new environment, travel allows us to change, adapt and adjust our perspectives and worldviews, (the way that we perceive the world) and by doing so allows us to better understand people from different backgrounds. This is one of the most important soft skills that one can learn, and there is no better way to pick it up than by the power of cultural immersion.
The Dreaded Questions
Worldview and Cultural Awareness
Though the other merits listed above are also significant, in my opinion, this element is the most important one of all. By immersing ourselves in a new environment, travel allows us to change, adapt and adjust our perspectives and worldviews, (the way that we perceive the world) and by doing so allows us to better understand people from different backgrounds. This is one of the most important soft skills that one can learn, and there is no better way to pick it up than by the power of cultural immersion.
The Dreaded Questions
These are the questions that every traveling parent knows you’re going to ask before the words even leave your mouth. They have all heard them a million times and will likely continue to hear them until there’s a better, general understanding of travel and education. Though there are many of these questions, these are the 3 most common:
“But what about math?”
For some reason, many people cannot conceive of how people ever learned math before the existence of textbooks. Math is all around us, and I’m inclined to argue that this is even truer when traveling. Concepts such as foreign currency conversion, budgeting, and time zones become commonplace everyday occurrences, providing a more relevant and real approach than the abstracted ‘math problems’ we’ve grown accustomed to.
“How will your child get into college?”
This is a loaded topic with many resources already defined and developed so I won’t get too deep with this one, but alternatively educated learners can easily get into college or university (and they have), provided they’re motivated enough. At least in the United States, many respected schools are starting to favor experience and autodidactism over credentials, and students from a less conventional background can easily test in if they so choose.
There are plenty of digital resources for traveling families aimed at helping alternative learners get to where they need to be, including online test preps and materials. One of the best of these online resources is Study.com, which helps location-independent students remotely earn college credits and improve their grades while providing a fun and relaxed way to study on your own time. We highly recommend Study.com's CLEP prep products, or Study.com's DSST prep products instead if you are part of a military family.
If you're looking for something more customizable and suitable for younger ages, be sure to check out their new online homeschool program.
“But what about math?”
For some reason, many people cannot conceive of how people ever learned math before the existence of textbooks. Math is all around us, and I’m inclined to argue that this is even truer when traveling. Concepts such as foreign currency conversion, budgeting, and time zones become commonplace everyday occurrences, providing a more relevant and real approach than the abstracted ‘math problems’ we’ve grown accustomed to.
“How will your child get into college?”
There are plenty of digital resources for traveling families aimed at helping alternative learners get to where they need to be, including online test preps and materials. One of the best of these online resources is Study.com, which helps location-independent students remotely earn college credits and improve their grades while providing a fun and relaxed way to study on your own time. We highly recommend Study.com's CLEP prep products, or Study.com's DSST prep products instead if you are part of a military family.
If you're looking for something more customizable and suitable for younger ages, be sure to check out their new online homeschool program.
The great people over at Study have offered a 20% off coupon to our readers only! So, if you're interested in trying either of these resources, be sure to use the promo code: "Bohemian-Travelers".
“How will your child be socialized?”
And lastly, the question of socialization. While it is true that a traveling lifestyle may not provide the same social environment as a school setting, it makes for a truly unique social aspect. Well-traveled children and adolescents are less predisposed to only interacting with people within their own age group, and as a result, are much more socially adaptable and versatile than their schooled counterparts. They’re also less likely to engage in ‘bully-ish’ behavior, as they view differences as something to be celebrated rather than mocked.
This was only a cursory glance into the nuanced and intriguing world of travel and education, and I invite you to do your own research as well. Happy trails!
OK get ready for an epic rant here. I never write these, I think them, I even start to write them but then I hold back and decide it is better to let it be. For this topic though I just can't!
I am sure you have all seen the recent video out of South Carolina where a girl is brutally attacked by an officer stationed at the school she attends. It is pretty hard to watch in my opinion. The first time I saw it I was mortified, gasped even as I watched this grown man, a man in uniform there to protect, toss around and assault a young girl. This supposed "peace" officer forces his will on this child in a violent manner right in front of an entire classroom, teacher included.
What are we doing to our children!
I will mention it so you don't think I've missed it that the officer was white and the child was black. I don't want this to be about race. I know some people see it that way but for this purpose I am looking at this from a human, adult/child perspective. Race matters, I know that, but when we make it all about race then we miss the point of police acting in brutal manners, the point of our children being under attack and under surveillance, the point that our children are treated like lesser human beings, and the point that no matter what someone does NO one should be treating anyone in this manner, most definitely not the people we pay to protect us.
I could talk about race or police brutality but I want to talk about something even bigger...what are we doing to our children!
Now as if the video wasn't bad enough it is, of course, being splashed all over the Internet especially through social media channels. Hell that's how I saw and heard about it first myself. I am glad it's getting recognition and glad that someone recorded it so we can see what is really happening, what happens when we place officers in a school setting. But the thing that made this rant possible, the thing that placed me squarely on the edge was the reaction to the video and ensuing disciplinary action against the officer.
- "If this was my kid the treatment from the cop would be The LEAST of her worries! This video shows EXACTLY what is wrong with our society. Kid is rude, disrespectful, ABUSIVE and just plain wrong."
- "Poor officer. Stupid girl."
- "Fired, for that? She deserved every bit of it!"
- "Well maybe the girl should have obeyed the officer and none if this would have happened."
- "For all the "disruption" she caused, that little brat should be expelled from that school, with her parents being responsible to repay the school for time lost for the incident."
- "Maybe next time she'll listen and she'll do what she's told. Disrespectful little bitch got what she had coming. "
- "She got what she deserved. our schools wouldn't be such a failure if we did it more often"
- "It's simple, do what you are told."
- "Fuck that kid for not following directions!"
- "Teach your kids to respect authority instead of raising a generation of entitled little shits and this won't happen people...."
- "Parents should raise their kids to do what they're told and respect their elders and authority."
You get the idea?! That is just a sampling of the crap I came across in regards to this incident. Of course plenty of people felt like me, outraged at such violence, but the fact that so many were defending the officer with what can only be described as a hateful heart, towards a young girl who we have now learned recently lost her mother and is living in foster care, just disturbs me on a deep level.
It should be no surprise though really. I've seen it before and it's a big part of why we chose to home school our boys. I know what you are thinking. "Her kids are probably the rude, disrespectful kids we are talking about". I can hear it now but it is simply untrue. You don't need a heavy hand or an aggressive parenting style to create respect, in fact we feel you need the opposite!
We talk about respect, abuse, authority and more. We show they respect, we value their opinion and we discuss family matters in a way that everyone can feel heard and understood. My boys are kind, they are respectful, and they do listen to us for the most part. We are not perfect and neither are they, we don't expect that and we don't display that. But and it is a big BUT, they know NOT to blindly follow what someone says just because that person is in a position of authority. If it feels wrong, they owe NO ONE respect or obedience including us as parents, teachers, officers, anyone, Really think of the ramifications of teaching children that and expecting compliance at any cost.**shudder**
This all reminds me of when my oldest had to take a drivers ed course at the local high school. There was a parent meeting the first day and it was all I could do to not scream at the presenter. Talk about disrespectful. All the teacher could do was say (in front of us and the kids) how much teenagers suck, how disrespectful they are, how they are going to die, how they really shouldn't be driving, etc, etc. Is it any wonder that they decide to not show these people respect?? Imagine being treated like that at a job for 12+ years, how would you feel about that person? Would you respect their authority just because they are in a power position? Better yet would you want your child to spend his/her life accepting that type of treatment because they were forced into compliance their whole lives?
What are we doing to our children?
If you force compliance from your child then you may get a child that is easy, that does what you say when you say it, and one that doesn't rock the boat at home or in school. That sounds great, easy is better right?! But is it really, is it really what you want? Your daughter to accept abuse for a mistake she made? Your son to abuse someone else because it's what he saw and how he was treated as a child? Forcing respect and obedience doesn't make people do the right thing really, all it does is make them fear you, make them do something out of obligation rather than a sincere heart, and shows them that bullying and forcing people is the way the world works.
I know I'll take some heat for this post but I think it is so important to change the mindset on our young people. I love and adore my teen! He is kind, generous, intelligent, funny, and has a mind of his own. He is valuable and what he thinks is just as valuable as what anyone else thinks. He deserves respect like all kids do. He deserves to be treated the way we want to be treated and he most certainly does not deserve a violent attack EVER for ANY reason!
Lets stop treating children like they are lesser human beings and give them the respect, the choices, the praise, and the unconditional love that we all want. That teenage girl did not deserve that kind of treatment. I don't know all the angles of the video or what happened before but I don't need to, that isn't the point. The point is that there are a handful of things that could have been done differently. Praising an abusive cop and blaming this child is harmful to society. As these kids grow up they will pass this same mentality on to their children or worse they may accept it as the way the world works. It doesn't have to be that way. If we expect the worst out of kids, if we tell them they will fail and they will disappoint, guess what?? They will!
Lets start treating them like the amazing, bright, unique people they are and stop the cycle of expectation and abuse! Love them unconditionally, respect them, and honor them and you will see a far brighter future!
We get asked questions about our educational philosophy a lot! While we travel the world we meet so many people and when they hear about how we live our life the education of the kids immediately becomes one of their greatest concerns.
Each country or area we visit has a unique set of things we all learn together on top of the intangible things that we are learning each and every day no matter where in the world we are. In Asia we learned a lot about geography, religion, and culture. In Central America we learned how to simplify our lives and live with what we need rather than focusing on the things we simply want. In Europe my whole perspective was blown out of the water and I discovered more geography and history than I thought possible to fit into a 6 week trip!
Geography, history
Like I said every country we visit is full of these types of lessons. The best ways to learn them, in my view anyway, is to get out there and explore it! When we decided on Oz we also started reading books and watching movies to prepare ourselves.
It was not so much a culture shock aspect but more that we all prefer knowing and understanding what is going on when in a new country. No amount of research can tell us everything but knowing what animals to expect, the history of the country, and geography etc is extremely helpful. It pushes us to gain new knowledge.
Learning about a region beforehand and then actually stepping foot there really solidifies the information in your mind, particularly for children. Plus I am really glad we learned about drop bears ahead of time so no one could trick us. Quick tip..they are not real no matter how much an Aussie may try to convince you!
Our true love
I have loved animals my whole life. My children have grown up with that and also seem to really love them as well. In Australia we were inundated with one animal experience after another. We learned loads about the native critters in OZ but more important we learned just how much our spirits awaken by being surrounded by nature and all its animals.
We spent time kayaking with dolphins, observing kangaroos and koalas in the wild, visiting the lovely Taronga zoo in Sydney, feeding possums at our camp site (they really are adorable), and bird watching everywhere. All those coupled with the animals we have experienced in Hawaii have led us to realize that animals are our true love, our passion and that being around them simply makes us happier.
Anytime we have a realization of something that creates harmony and happiness in our family we consider it a great win and to this day it is still one of the things we appreciate most about our trip to Australia.
The thing we need to ditch
Electronics are necessary evils in our life. My husband and I both work remotely so Internet access and at least 8 hours of screen time a day is pretty much the standard. We rely on it for nearly everything and to be honest I can see now what an addiction it can turn into.
Even the kids use it to talk to their friends, game, and research things. It is not necessarily a bad thing but at times I think we lose sight of it and find we are using it way too much. Before our trip to Australia we were in Penang and we were there for quite a while by our standards. It was super hot and quite frankly miserable to be outside unless you were in a pool. We got used to using our electronics more and more....and then some more!
When we landed in OZ we knew Internet was going to be a thing of the past. It is expensive, even in hotels, and although we could have gotten a 3G sim card, for our short trip it just did not seem worth it. We spent our entire trip with no Internet except for a 1 hour stretch near the end.
We talked more, played outside (the weather was spot on for our entire trip), hiked, walked to town, explored, played cards and board games, learned how to throw boomerangs, and went on fun outings. We did watch a movie at night but the computers did not even come out. It was wonderful! Even our youngest, at 6 years old, still fondly talks about how much fun it was and how he wishes we could go back.
Being in Australia, with so much beauty, so little Internet, and all the time in the world to be together was eye opening experience that taught us how important it is to unplug whenever we can. We need the Internet, we love it but we also need a break and Oz showed us that very clearly!
Each country or area we visit has a unique set of things we all learn together on top of the intangible things that we are learning each and every day no matter where in the world we are. In Asia we learned a lot about geography, religion, and culture. In Central America we learned how to simplify our lives and live with what we need rather than focusing on the things we simply want. In Europe my whole perspective was blown out of the water and I discovered more geography and history than I thought possible to fit into a 6 week trip!
Geography, history
Like I said every country we visit is full of these types of lessons. The best ways to learn them, in my view anyway, is to get out there and explore it! When we decided on Oz we also started reading books and watching movies to prepare ourselves.
It was not so much a culture shock aspect but more that we all prefer knowing and understanding what is going on when in a new country. No amount of research can tell us everything but knowing what animals to expect, the history of the country, and geography etc is extremely helpful. It pushes us to gain new knowledge.
Learning about a region beforehand and then actually stepping foot there really solidifies the information in your mind, particularly for children. Plus I am really glad we learned about drop bears ahead of time so no one could trick us. Quick tip..they are not real no matter how much an Aussie may try to convince you!
Our true love
I have loved animals my whole life. My children have grown up with that and also seem to really love them as well. In Australia we were inundated with one animal experience after another. We learned loads about the native critters in OZ but more important we learned just how much our spirits awaken by being surrounded by nature and all its animals.
We spent time kayaking with dolphins, observing kangaroos and koalas in the wild, visiting the lovely Taronga zoo in Sydney, feeding possums at our camp site (they really are adorable), and bird watching everywhere. All those coupled with the animals we have experienced in Hawaii have led us to realize that animals are our true love, our passion and that being around them simply makes us happier.
Anytime we have a realization of something that creates harmony and happiness in our family we consider it a great win and to this day it is still one of the things we appreciate most about our trip to Australia.
The thing we need to ditch
Electronics are necessary evils in our life. My husband and I both work remotely so Internet access and at least 8 hours of screen time a day is pretty much the standard. We rely on it for nearly everything and to be honest I can see now what an addiction it can turn into.
Even the kids use it to talk to their friends, game, and research things. It is not necessarily a bad thing but at times I think we lose sight of it and find we are using it way too much. Before our trip to Australia we were in Penang and we were there for quite a while by our standards. It was super hot and quite frankly miserable to be outside unless you were in a pool. We got used to using our electronics more and more....and then some more!
When we landed in OZ we knew Internet was going to be a thing of the past. It is expensive, even in hotels, and although we could have gotten a 3G sim card, for our short trip it just did not seem worth it. We spent our entire trip with no Internet except for a 1 hour stretch near the end.
We talked more, played outside (the weather was spot on for our entire trip), hiked, walked to town, explored, played cards and board games, learned how to throw boomerangs, and went on fun outings. We did watch a movie at night but the computers did not even come out. It was wonderful! Even our youngest, at 6 years old, still fondly talks about how much fun it was and how he wishes we could go back.
Being in Australia, with so much beauty, so little Internet, and all the time in the world to be together was eye opening experience that taught us how important it is to unplug whenever we can. We need the Internet, we love it but we also need a break and Oz showed us that very clearly!
Have you been to Australia? What lessons did you learn whilst there?
As an unschooler I am always on the hunt for a great way to talk about history and science without it feeling like a long boring lesson. Our favorite way to accomplish this is to find books that make telling these tales fun, especially when the boys are younger and the attention span may not be very long.
About a month ago I was approached by the makers of new series of books. I looked into it and decided that it was a great fit for us as it encompasses travel, language, and history all in a fun tale of 2 siblings pups. I asked them to send us the books so we could take a look and then if we enjoyed them and felt it was good for our readers I would write a review!
As you can tell we loved the books and I am thrilled to be writing a review so all you readers out there can get these books for yourselves. It is a great investment in fun and learning, and a perfect jumping off point for discussing related topics. My kids loved them so much that we are still, 3 weeks later, reading the books and researching Italy! What a great unschooling resource, right?
The Bella & Harry series was developed to inspire young readers to embrace the world and encourage its exploration. Done through the comedic and informative adventures of sibling Chihuahuas Bella and Harry, while traveling through various countries, the series aspires to stimulate children’s imaginations and foster a thirst for understanding the world in which they live. Check out this promotional video below. Anyone who loves travel will love these books!
Edinburgh and Rome are the seventh and eighth books in the series and the 2 that I have read so far. Paris, Venice, London, Cairo, Athens, Barcelona, Istanbul and Jerusalem are also available and I plan to get them as soon as I can. They also already have a few lined up for release in 2014. For information on the release of new books follow them on Facebook!
The boys all loved the story, laughed as we read, and it encouraged them to take it even further as they came up with loads of questions about these 2 locations. The books were easy to read, easy to understand and each had valuable insight into the respectable countries. The illustrations are adorable and the book itself is a sturdy hard cover.
Each tale includes tips on great spots to visit, simple phrases in the language, cultural and historical information and best of all shows a love of travel and inquisitiveness. Things I love showing my boys!
About Bella & Harry: Let’s Visit Edinburgh
Good day! Join Bella and Harry as they travel to Edinburgh with their family and see Edinburgh Castle, the Royal Botanic Garden and enjoy a trip to Loch Ness to search for Nessie! Along the way local cuisine (such as Dundee cake) and basic Scottish phrases are introduced.
About Bella & Harry: Let’s Visit Rome
Bon giorno! Join Bella & Harry as they travel to Rome with their family and see the Colosseum, Roman Forum, Trevi Fountain and other sites. Along the way local cuisine (spaghetti and meatballs) and basic Italian words are introduced.
If you home school, unschool, or just love great children's books pick up some of these books today! But be careful; inquisitiveness, a thirst for travel, and the need to collect all the books may occur!
About a month ago I was approached by the makers of new series of books. I looked into it and decided that it was a great fit for us as it encompasses travel, language, and history all in a fun tale of 2 siblings pups. I asked them to send us the books so we could take a look and then if we enjoyed them and felt it was good for our readers I would write a review!
As you can tell we loved the books and I am thrilled to be writing a review so all you readers out there can get these books for yourselves. It is a great investment in fun and learning, and a perfect jumping off point for discussing related topics. My kids loved them so much that we are still, 3 weeks later, reading the books and researching Italy! What a great unschooling resource, right?
The Bella & Harry series was developed to inspire young readers to embrace the world and encourage its exploration. Done through the comedic and informative adventures of sibling Chihuahuas Bella and Harry, while traveling through various countries, the series aspires to stimulate children’s imaginations and foster a thirst for understanding the world in which they live. Check out this promotional video below. Anyone who loves travel will love these books!
Edinburgh and Rome are the seventh and eighth books in the series and the 2 that I have read so far. Paris, Venice, London, Cairo, Athens, Barcelona, Istanbul and Jerusalem are also available and I plan to get them as soon as I can. They also already have a few lined up for release in 2014. For information on the release of new books follow them on Facebook!
The boys all loved the story, laughed as we read, and it encouraged them to take it even further as they came up with loads of questions about these 2 locations. The books were easy to read, easy to understand and each had valuable insight into the respectable countries. The illustrations are adorable and the book itself is a sturdy hard cover.
Each tale includes tips on great spots to visit, simple phrases in the language, cultural and historical information and best of all shows a love of travel and inquisitiveness. Things I love showing my boys!
About Bella & Harry: Let’s Visit Edinburgh
Good day! Join Bella and Harry as they travel to Edinburgh with their family and see Edinburgh Castle, the Royal Botanic Garden and enjoy a trip to Loch Ness to search for Nessie! Along the way local cuisine (such as Dundee cake) and basic Scottish phrases are introduced.
About Bella & Harry: Let’s Visit Rome
Bon giorno! Join Bella & Harry as they travel to Rome with their family and see the Colosseum, Roman Forum, Trevi Fountain and other sites. Along the way local cuisine (spaghetti and meatballs) and basic Italian words are introduced.
If you home school, unschool, or just love great children's books pick up some of these books today! But be careful; inquisitiveness, a thirst for travel, and the need to collect all the books may occur!
Our three boys are vastly different people. They are each 4 years apart with my oldest and youngest being 8 years apart. We love them all equally but share different types of relationships with each one due to their age and personality differences. My baby looks to Dylan (the oldest) as more of a second dad than a playmate and so finding activities to suit everyone can be a challenge.
Another challenge from my boys perspective is simply being heard! In our house we emphasize respect and expect it, but with so many voices often someone feels unheard. They also love to have my undivided attention which I simply cannot give when I am with all 3 children. The chaos of a larger family creates a tension at times that I have found is best alleviated by giving them what they seem to crave; individual attention.
I am often surprised when I meet people that do not make a point to spend one on one time with each child. Maybe it's a lack of time, or a lack of help in looking after the other children, two things I am very grateful to have, but I think it is important to find a way. As I was thinking about it the other day it occurred to me that perhaps some people simply haven't thought about it and don't know the wonderful benefits of one-on-one time.
Importance
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| Dinner portion of the "date" with C |
Like most moms, I'm constantly multitasking. Mom, wife, blogger, cook, shopper, planner, social media participant, etc.. I sometimes catch myself being only mildly present with the boys. When I stop what I am doing, get down to their level and look in their eyes I can see that it means so much more when I focus on them! The same is true in regards to giving them their own time.
Individual connections
I love my children, all of them the same amount, but I think it is dishonest to say in the same way. My three boys are so different that I could not possibly have the same type of relationship with each one of them. Really, I wouldn't want to! That is the amazing beauty in having multiple children. They all bring out something unique in our relationship and make me a better mother and person in general through that ability.
Through our date days I am able to connect on a much deeper level with each child as I can really focus on that individual relationship that we share. We share jokes, memories, and interests which just increase our personal connection. Years later we often giggle at something that happened between us. Bonding the entire family is vital but so is that bond between each individual member of the family. With this increased connection also comes more respect and tolerance, two things you can never have too much of.
Confidence
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| Lunch date with T |
As children grow older self-confidence becomes more and more important as they are faced with situations and decisions that will be best made with a strong sense of self-worth. By giving them individual attention and a feeling that what they want matters, they will be more confident in making choices for themselves, rather than simply following the crowd.
Communication
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| Perhentian trip with Dylan to get scuba certified together |
One-on-one dates is not an automatic invitation for your children to open up and talk with you. That is cultivated in the overall relationship you share with them, how open you are with your feelings and thoughts, and your respect level for them and their opinions but it certainly helps to open the door.
I think a lot of us, especially those with many kids, get caught up in the notion that there just aren't enough hours in the day. If one child gets more attention you may feel guilty and so the whole idea gets put on a back burner. But what you don't know is how little time it really takes. It doesn't need to be some elaborate, expensive full-day outing, although those can be wonderful as well. Just a simple meal out or a long walk alone is all it takes to remind them how important they are!
We have done meals out, story telling, cooked meals together at home, played a board game or cards, taken walks or hikes, overnight trips, multiple day trips, and so much more on a one-to-one basis with each child. It never matters how much time it is just that they were the focus. Our children always return home feeling refreshed and more capable of showing respect and tolerance to one another.
Do you also do "dates" with your children? What types of things do you do?
When 13-year-old Logan LaPlante grows up, he wants to be happy and healthy. He discusses how hacking his education is helping him achieve this goal.
Logan has the freedom that comes with homeschooling to explore his interests. As he explains in his TED talk below, happiness and creativity are the focus of his education. He's able to engage directly with his interests because he's not stuck behind the walls of an institutional school all day, everyday.
The most innovative entrepreneurs of the future will be people who are able to hack the current system and create something new. As Buckminster Fuller said,
"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
Resources have blossomed with increasing popularity of homeschooling, providing endless opportunities for children to turn their creative ideas into reality. And with the time and freedom to pursue what they enjoy, these will be the adults of the future who hack the current system to provide outside-of-the-box solutions and businesses.
What do you think? Is this a way you could see your children living? What is stopping you from making it happen? We'd love to know!
J.P. Hicks is an entrepreneur, pro blogger, editor of BlogTips.com
Logan has the freedom that comes with homeschooling to explore his interests. As he explains in his TED talk below, happiness and creativity are the focus of his education. He's able to engage directly with his interests because he's not stuck behind the walls of an institutional school all day, everyday.
The most innovative entrepreneurs of the future will be people who are able to hack the current system and create something new. As Buckminster Fuller said,
"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
Resources have blossomed with increasing popularity of homeschooling, providing endless opportunities for children to turn their creative ideas into reality. And with the time and freedom to pursue what they enjoy, these will be the adults of the future who hack the current system to provide outside-of-the-box solutions and businesses.
What do you think? Is this a way you could see your children living? What is stopping you from making it happen? We'd love to know!
J.P. Hicks is an entrepreneur, pro blogger, editor of BlogTips.com
My children enjoy a great deal of freedom. When I was child we also had freedom. It was OK to take a bus alone, walk slowly to a friend’s house exploring along the way, and even **gasp** speak to some to strangers. But as my childhood progressed I saw a slow weakening of trust in people. I remember palpably feeling distrust take over my parents when a made-for-TV movie came on about a child kidnapped or murdered. It felt as if it was actually the intended purpose of the show to instil fear.
Flash forward to the present and almost every news story is encouraging fear. All the recent shootings and violence throughout the US keep us scared, worried, and in a constant state of reacting to things through emotion alone. The thing that most people do not realize, what I didn’t realize for a long time, is that through fear we are easier to control. We also lose who we were meant to be, and we do not follow the life path we were on as children.
When we hold onto fear or instil it in our children it fundamentally changes who we are, who they are.
Most parents I know, me included sometimes, use fear to control our children. Usually it is in the name of safety but a lot of times it stretches far beyond safety and more towards just getting our children to do what we want. It works..sometimes…in the short term! But is it worth it? Is it worth scaring our children, making them fearful, and capable of being controlled through their emotions?
I don’t think that it is. My youngest 2 sons have always been daredevils, scaring people where ever we go. And I am sure some people look at my reaction to the things they do and wonder where I am, why I am not yelling at them, demanding they stop doing x, y and z, and to be more careful. I understand this mentality and sometimes I am gritting my teeth and holding my proverbial tongue because as a mom I am petrified and do not want anything bad to happen to them….EVER!
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| Sometimes you have to let them leap! |
I my opinion, the latter of each is far worse, especially in the long run. I do not want my children’s actions to be controlled by fear..EVER! For when they allow themselves to be controlled by fear anyone can control them, push them towards unhappy choices, and throw them off the path they were destined to be on. A cut heals, a broken arm sets and bruises fade, but it is nearly impossible to reverse those fearful thoughts and images that we are conditioned to accept as reality as children.
Is it my job to keep them safe? Of course it is and I do that to the best of my ability without taking away the person that they are. One son has broken his arm and needed stitches twice, and one son has had a concussion. I think that is standard fare for three boys over the span 13 years. Just because we can picture the next bad thing that could happen does NOT mean that it will happen. Most people would be shocked that we let our 13-year-old take a bus alone, or let our 9-year-old walk down the street to the store in a foreign country, or let our 5-year-old climb pretty much anything, but nothing bad has happened.
Now you are thinking that just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t! I get that, and I think that at times as well. Remember I, too, was conditioned to accept fear as part of my reality when I was a child. But in the long run my boys feel confident and proud of themselves where a lot of children have replaced those things with fear and low self-esteem.
We need to trust our children and give them the freedom to find their own successes and to learn from their own failures. It is possibly the hardest part of parenting but I believe one of the most imperative gifts we can give. It can be hard in this world to separate real dangers from imagined ones, but when you make the change you and your children will prosper.
Our conditioning to this fear based mentality coupled with the realization that we are passing it on to our children is a perfect example of why we have to stop the cycle.
So what can we do to stop the cycle of fear?
-For starters be aware of how much you are controlling your child. It is their life and they have a right to be in control of it far more than is the cultural norm of today.
-Next get your own emotions and fears in check, whatever it takes let go of the fear and stop making irrational decisions based on emotions.
-When your child asks you to do something that immediately makes you see danger signs. STOP! And think through what the real concerns are. Is it a real danger? Are others doing it and surviving?
-Trust your child to make good decisions. I find children are far more capable if we let them live and learn on their own. They know their capabilities better than we do in most instances.
-Start small, each week let them do something you used to immediately say no to. Your comfort level will rise and so will their confidence.
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| Not much feels better then accomplishment on your own terms! |
Do you think children that unschool have no rules? Do you think they are wild children with no discipline at all? If you are like a lot of my family, friends, and readers then I am about to blow apart what you think you know about us unschoolers!
As an unschooler I am well aware that our lifestyle goes against the grain of the majority. We believe very much in peaceful parenting and child led activities, especially in regards to their education. We also do not believe in time outs, spanking, or coercing and/or shaming children into being obedient. Children need love and support but I also feel that they need some structure and, at times, guidance as to what is good for them.
Unschoolers are all different in the way that they approach things with their children, especially in the area of discipline. If you asked 100 unschoolers what they do about it you would get slightly different answers from everyone. Some say the difference is in the terms or labels; radical vs "regular" unschoolers, worldschoolers vs. radicals, and so on. But in my opinion, these terms typically only serve the purpose of confusing the public and pitting unschoolers against one another!
So let's not do that. I am going to speak here just for me, about what works for us, followed by some testimonials from other unschoolers so that you can get an idea of the different ways in which unschoolers handle discipline...and most of us do in some form. Sometimes we just don't like using that word:)
Personal care Personal care things, like showering, brushing teeth, and cutting nails are all things that need to be done for obvious reasons. When we say that the kids have freedom in this regard, it does NOT mean that they don't do them. In our house it means they are given a great deal of freedom about how and when they do these things.
I am sure you've heard the old adage, "choose your battles", well this is really the same idea. While we expect them to groom themselves, we do not force the issue. We explain why those things are important, why we insist on them, and show them how to do it properly. That is pretty much the end of it. Not much arguing really but I need to say that when they do argue the issue of showering or tooth brushing, we listen to them and why they would rather wait or put it off. Typically we know that missing one tooth brushing isn't going to mean the end of days so we keep it relaxed and remind them why it is important.
Respect Respect is one of the most important things in our home. When you are traveling constantly and together all the time, life would be pretty miserable without it. Since they were born, it has been a priority that we model for them what we expect. We respect them the same as the way we expect them to respect us. Please and Thank You are suggested and almost always used. Saying sorry is not something we force but we encourage it along with many good manners by explaining to them why it matters to the other person. Empathy is a focus!
It is expected because it was not an option when they were small. They know that if they give respect, they get respect! If they cross a line and show disrespect to anyone, which only happens still with our 5-year-old, we speak to them about it, explaining why it is important and that we are unhappy with that behavior. That is usually enough.
Chores Some chores, or work, in our home is just expected. The boys all know they are members of this family and that we all need to do things in the house and for each other for the good of everyone. They know if I ask them to get something or clean something up that I expect they will do it. Likewise they know if they need my help with something that either my husband or I will do it for them. Of course there are times when they do not want to, and although we take it into account and don't force the issue if they have a good reason, at times it is necessary. It doesn't happen often, but when it does they will lose their electronics for a predetermined amount of time.
They also ask us for extra chores in order to make some money. They are too young for jobs outside the home and we like that they are wanting to make money of their own, so we have set up some extra jobs that they get paid for. For these there is no discipline needed, they know they will not receive the money if they do not do the job. It is up to them entirely, but usually they do it :)
Education Although we are unschoolers to the core, there are some things, especially as our sons get older, that we do require they do. My oldest sons read nearly everyday. Sometimes they get to a point of not wanting to read, typically in between books, but they know it is that or we take the electronics.
We rarely have to force them to read (and now blogging for our oldest) as they are the few things that we firmly encourage Usually we speak to them about our expectations first so they have an understanding of why it is important. They also know that if they have a legitimate reason for skipping it we understand and respect that sometimes you just need a break. We also let them choose the book and/or topic and give them free reign to start and stop a book if they just aren't interested. I do that all the time! When I read a book I am not interested in, it just doesn't sink in and discourages me from reading, these are certainly not things I want for my sons.
We have had to deal with some other issues at times, some fibbing, and personal issues. They happen as kids are always learning, but we have only had to discuss the issues with them and the behavior ceased.
Below are how other unschoolers handle and regard discipline in their homes!
Lainie from www.raisingmiro.com
"I think the mainstream perceives 'discipline' in the family as the act of ridged rules being imposed from the parents and enforced either through corporal punishment or the stripping of privileges. However, this is not how discipline looks in my family.
From an early age, I treated my role as the parent as the nurturer, a person who guides and facilitates my son, not an authoritarian. I looked upon the role of being my son's parent as a distinct honor. The need for punishment or discipline comes from the child challenging or reacting to a set of circumstances. I never saw this as being an inconvenience, rather I see it as being a part of life.
We developed respect and space for emotions over the 13 years of my son's life and continue each and every day. It takes adjustments on both sides and sometimes we both make mistakes, but we have the tools
to talk about it and understand the boundaries that works for us. That is our agreed upon 'discipline'."
Talon from 1dad1kid.com
"I disagree with some “radical unschoolers” who believe children should have no rules. I’m sorry, but society has rules, so will my child. One of my jobs as a parent is to prepare him for life. Children like and need boundaries. Even though we may not like to admit it, adults typically do better when our boundaries are clear as well. I would be doing him a disservice by raising him in a world with no rules when outside the door he’ll be faced with plenty of them.
Discipline and punishment are two different things, though. Rules are discussed. He understands why there are certain expectations. We discuss issues. How else is he to learn if I simply just say “Because I said so!” and leave it at that?
Since he isn’t treated like he’s an inferior person or a “subject” in our home, he does not feel a need to battle me for control. We function more like a team. He learns respect because it is modeled for him. I don’t need to demand it. I treat him with respect and therefore am respected in return."
Shannon from Shannonentin.com
"I think that discipline is just like any other aspect of parenting - you do what works best for your children and your family. As an unschooler (mostly), I give my kids a good amount of leeway in controlling what they spend their time on. When they find something they love, they might spend 10 hours a day on it and I certainly don't pull them away to force them to sit at a table and do something they couldn't care less about. But that doesn't mean they never do anything they don't want to. There are certainly things I require them to do - some chores, picking up after themselves, personal hygiene, and yes, even some school work that they might not be thrilled about. We also have a system set up where our kids can earn money - just like in the real world! They don't get an "allowance." I keep a chart on the refrigerator with a list of things they can do to help around the house and if they want spending money each month, they work for it."
Sara McGrath Unschoolinglifestyle.com 
Unschoolers are all different in the way that they approach things with their children, especially in the area of discipline. If you asked 100 unschoolers what they do about it you would get slightly different answers from everyone. Some say the difference is in the terms or labels; radical vs "regular" unschoolers, worldschoolers vs. radicals, and so on. But in my opinion, these terms typically only serve the purpose of confusing the public and pitting unschoolers against one another!
So let's not do that. I am going to speak here just for me, about what works for us, followed by some testimonials from other unschoolers so that you can get an idea of the different ways in which unschoolers handle discipline...and most of us do in some form. Sometimes we just don't like using that word:)
So what do we do about discipline?
Personal care Personal care things, like showering, brushing teeth, and cutting nails are all things that need to be done for obvious reasons. When we say that the kids have freedom in this regard, it does NOT mean that they don't do them. In our house it means they are given a great deal of freedom about how and when they do these things.
 |
| Choice sometimes leads to interesting bathing locations! |
Respect Respect is one of the most important things in our home. When you are traveling constantly and together all the time, life would be pretty miserable without it. Since they were born, it has been a priority that we model for them what we expect. We respect them the same as the way we expect them to respect us. Please and Thank You are suggested and almost always used. Saying sorry is not something we force but we encourage it along with many good manners by explaining to them why it matters to the other person. Empathy is a focus!
It is expected because it was not an option when they were small. They know that if they give respect, they get respect! If they cross a line and show disrespect to anyone, which only happens still with our 5-year-old, we speak to them about it, explaining why it is important and that we are unhappy with that behavior. That is usually enough.
Chores Some chores, or work, in our home is just expected. The boys all know they are members of this family and that we all need to do things in the house and for each other for the good of everyone. They know if I ask them to get something or clean something up that I expect they will do it. Likewise they know if they need my help with something that either my husband or I will do it for them. Of course there are times when they do not want to, and although we take it into account and don't force the issue if they have a good reason, at times it is necessary. It doesn't happen often, but when it does they will lose their electronics for a predetermined amount of time.
They also ask us for extra chores in order to make some money. They are too young for jobs outside the home and we like that they are wanting to make money of their own, so we have set up some extra jobs that they get paid for. For these there is no discipline needed, they know they will not receive the money if they do not do the job. It is up to them entirely, but usually they do it :)
Education Although we are unschoolers to the core, there are some things, especially as our sons get older, that we do require they do. My oldest sons read nearly everyday. Sometimes they get to a point of not wanting to read, typically in between books, but they know it is that or we take the electronics.
We rarely have to force them to read (and now blogging for our oldest) as they are the few things that we firmly encourage Usually we speak to them about our expectations first so they have an understanding of why it is important. They also know that if they have a legitimate reason for skipping it we understand and respect that sometimes you just need a break. We also let them choose the book and/or topic and give them free reign to start and stop a book if they just aren't interested. I do that all the time! When I read a book I am not interested in, it just doesn't sink in and discourages me from reading, these are certainly not things I want for my sons.
We have had to deal with some other issues at times, some fibbing, and personal issues. They happen as kids are always learning, but we have only had to discuss the issues with them and the behavior ceased.
Below are how other unschoolers handle and regard discipline in their homes!
Lainie from www.raisingmiro.com
"I think the mainstream perceives 'discipline' in the family as the act of ridged rules being imposed from the parents and enforced either through corporal punishment or the stripping of privileges. However, this is not how discipline looks in my family.
From an early age, I treated my role as the parent as the nurturer, a person who guides and facilitates my son, not an authoritarian. I looked upon the role of being my son's parent as a distinct honor. The need for punishment or discipline comes from the child challenging or reacting to a set of circumstances. I never saw this as being an inconvenience, rather I see it as being a part of life.
When my son was a toddler and had a reaction to something and either got angry or upset, I was there, present with him and those emotions. My first reaction was always to affirm what he was feeling was real,
that the way he perceived the situation was valid and most importantly, he was allowed to feel what he was feeling. I would sit with him while he scrunched up his little face and felt anger or frustration. I would just be there for him while he was experiencing that. In situations where he was really upset, I told him to feel what
that felt like, gave him permission to be as angry as he needed to be, but when he was done, I'd be there waiting to talk about it. No rush, and total permission to be in ok with the emotions he was feeling. And he always proceed though them on his own, as we always spoke about it after the anger had passed. And I feel the secret to raising a emotionally healthy child is to honor the feelings when they come up, allowing space to feel them and talk about the feelings without judgement.
Where does discipline come in then? It's about defining boundaries that work for the family, talking about them and when those boundaries are challenged, dealing with them with respect. I know this sounds ideal, but it's what works for us.
Have we ever had serious discipline problems? No. Are we prepared for them? Yes. Do I think serious acts of rebellion will ever come up? Not really, because we have established an open line of communication, and
it is seeded with respect and trust. But if it does, we can handle it.
We developed respect and space for emotions over the 13 years of my son's life and continue each and every day. It takes adjustments on both sides and sometimes we both make mistakes, but we have the tools
to talk about it and understand the boundaries that works for us. That is our agreed upon 'discipline'."
Talon from 1dad1kid.com
"I disagree with some “radical unschoolers” who believe children should have no rules. I’m sorry, but society has rules, so will my child. One of my jobs as a parent is to prepare him for life. Children like and need boundaries. Even though we may not like to admit it, adults typically do better when our boundaries are clear as well. I would be doing him a disservice by raising him in a world with no rules when outside the door he’ll be faced with plenty of them.
Discipline and punishment are two different things, though. Rules are discussed. He understands why there are certain expectations. We discuss issues. How else is he to learn if I simply just say “Because I said so!” and leave it at that?
Since he isn’t treated like he’s an inferior person or a “subject” in our home, he does not feel a need to battle me for control. We function more like a team. He learns respect because it is modeled for him. I don’t need to demand it. I treat him with respect and therefore am respected in return."
Shannon from Shannonentin.com
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| Shannon and her kids
"Most unschooling parents agree that discipline is not about parental control over a child's behavior, but about helping children develop self-discipline, although some unschoolers prefer to avoid the word "discipline" altogether to avoid connotations of self-imposed punishment or unfair parental expectations of a child's developmental abilities."
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"In this sense, self-discipline, as one unschooling mother suggested, is perhaps more about self-awareness than about self-regulation or behavior expectations. The unschooling parent's concern is not for enforcing social behavioral expectations, but for helping children navigate their own and others' needs and feelings."
So there you have it. We do have some rules, and we do discipline when we need to but we choose to practice open communication and mutual respect first and foremost! We all do it a bit differently yet try to focus on these tenements to keep it all in line with how we want our children treated. I promise you our kids have fun and have loads of freedom but wild children with no manners.....NO WAY!
So were you surprised by any of our responses??
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One of the biggest questions I get in regards to the nomadic lifestyle with our children is, "how do you handle education?" It has gotten me thinking lately of all the different things we learn while on the road, but especially the things that are so valuable for children.
Officially we unschool our boys, something we feel very strongly about and decided on after quite a journey in the education arena. Mostly we guide our boys, help them seek out what interests them, provide the tools, and let them make their own path.
Saying "thank you" in 6 languages and using basic math to convert currencies are just some of the unique lessons learned while traveling. Pretty basic stuff, I know. But the lessons go a lot deeper -- even for unschoolers.
In fact, as parents we are learning just as much as our kids are on this journey. That, I think, is the biggest appeal to most nomadic homeschooling families or for anyone seeking the advantages of studying overseas. Once we adopted the "learning through experience" mindset, each family member has embraced it.
Here's a list, although not complete by any means, of things kids learn while traveling:
Problem solving
When you spend at least 1 day a week trying to get from point A to point B, in a foreign language, in a country you have never stepped foot in before, problem solving is something you pick up quick. In our 11 months as nomads we have dealt with everything from being lost to being hussled. Throwing up in an overnight van ride, to confusion with the newest currency exchanges.
Our boys have amazed me time and again with their ability to figure out a way to do something. At times when I am about to melt, it is typically one of them that comes up with the idea to save us all.
Language
When we were in Costa Rica all 3 boys learned quite a bit of Spanish, our oldest becoming practically fluent. As we travel more extensively they pick up bits and pieces every place we go. Some say this hard wires their brains in such a way that language will most likely always be easier for them. I buy that.
And they have a knack of picking up the tone the best. I can get vocabulary down but the accent, no way! They pick up the correct tone without even knowing it. We can now say "Thank you" in six languages and can just about order food in all of them as well.
Geography, history, culture
I guess this one was bound to happen, but our 3 kids have a better knowledge of geography then I did even after high school. There is something about actually being out in the world that helps to really put the differences and similarities of a culture into perspective. They have become true global citizens, gathering knowledge of where we are on the planet and what makes a culture unique every place new we go.
Empathy
This, to me, is one of the most important things a person carries with them. It gives you perspective and a kindness that will return to you over and over. Empathy is a gift that can be cultivated where ever you are. When you travel and see the world through other's eyes, often times others that are struggling beyond your previous conception, it really accelerates your ability to empathize. Compassion for others is a trait most easily gained through seeing firsthand the suffering and joy of people who are at first glance different than you.
Courage to try new things
Before this trip my middle son was averse to trying anything new, he didn't even want to go anywhere that there was going to be a lot of people. Now he always at least tries new food and spends nearly everyday in an environment that he previously would have preferred to avoid. This has opened the world to him in ways we never could have conceived.
The kids have learned that trying new things helps us discover the things we love. They have eaten bugs, learned to surf, explored questionable caves, driven motor scooters on the highway, fished like the locals, and so on. Some things they enjoy and others not so much. But they now have gained the courage to try new things, which escapes a good many adults.
Let the little things go
Letting go of the little things is so important to enjoying life. And they're all little things, as the book says. Take any five people and coop them up together in planes, trains, automobiles and hotel rooms without a break in eleven months, and tensions can get high at times. But those close quarters also demand that grudges dissolve before they boil over.
The kids are also really learning to let go of possessiveness. Since we only carry around what we can fit in our backpacks, we don't have all the things we are used to that make life easier. So sharing is just accepted as necessary. Plus, everyday we see how happy others are with so very little and any of our complaints subside.
Adaptability
I believe adaptability is one of the most important intangible lessons that nomads learn. As the world enters a time of rapid change through technology and awareness, the ability to quickly adapt is essential. It's a characteristic that any university or corporation would value greatly in a potential alum/employee.
When you travel around to a new country, city or town often, you simply have to learn to adapt to new environments. Adapting to a new location, language, currency, foods, and cultures presents unique challenges that we face on a weekly basis. The boys have a new "home" often, and they've gotten progressively better at assimilating quickly.
Patience
The virtue of the gods, right? Can you even teach kids patience these days? Yes, try 11 months of travel. We wait for just about everything; transportation, taking turns using the bathroom in the hotel room, meals that are cooked one at a time when we're really hungry, etc. And forgot about how many times we get lost and have to backtrack. Our patience muscle gets a work out every day.
We have all slowly gained the ability to keep time in perspective and wait for things contently -- which is quite a feat for Americans who are used to being fast-food brats. Admittedly, our five-year-old is still struggling in the patience department, but his occasional tantrums actually require more patience from the rest of us.
Socializing
Socialization is always one of the biggest concerns when homeschooling. Add in travel and moving around so much, and one could get even more concerned about meaningful socialization. Yet, we find that travel pushes us outside of our comfort zone and into the arms of the friendly locals we have met all over the world, not to mention other travelers who are just as intrigued about us as we are of them. Being out and about on a bus or train, talking to the drivers or travelers about where to go, where to eat, or what to do, removes the fear of engaging new people in conversation.
Although we naturally miss good friends and family, we've met so many terrific people on the road that we'd never have met without this adventure.
Tolerance
When you live a stationary life, it's easy to surround yourself with people just like you. Like everyone else, we had a core group of friends who we spent most of our time with when we had a home base leaving little time for meeting new people and getting new perspectives.
Many countries have incredible religious and cultural diversity living in harmony. By viewing tolerance in these countries, the kids experience how people can live together with opposing viewpoints. Traveling also forces us to see the similarities in people that, at first glance, are far different from us. Everyone around the world seems to desire a peaceful, happy, and sufficiently prosperous existence for themselves and their families. Just by recognizing these similarities, it's impossible to think of anyone as less than equal.
Don't get me wrong, not everyday is an obvious learning experience, but the aggregate is beginning to bear fruit.......?
Officially we unschool our boys, something we feel very strongly about and decided on after quite a journey in the education arena. Mostly we guide our boys, help them seek out what interests them, provide the tools, and let them make their own path.
Saying "thank you" in 6 languages and using basic math to convert currencies are just some of the unique lessons learned while traveling. Pretty basic stuff, I know. But the lessons go a lot deeper -- even for unschoolers.
In fact, as parents we are learning just as much as our kids are on this journey. That, I think, is the biggest appeal to most nomadic homeschooling families or for anyone seeking the advantages of studying overseas. Once we adopted the "learning through experience" mindset, each family member has embraced it.
Here's a list, although not complete by any means, of things kids learn while traveling:
Problem solving
When you spend at least 1 day a week trying to get from point A to point B, in a foreign language, in a country you have never stepped foot in before, problem solving is something you pick up quick. In our 11 months as nomads we have dealt with everything from being lost to being hussled. Throwing up in an overnight van ride, to confusion with the newest currency exchanges.
Our boys have amazed me time and again with their ability to figure out a way to do something. At times when I am about to melt, it is typically one of them that comes up with the idea to save us all.
Language
When we were in Costa Rica all 3 boys learned quite a bit of Spanish, our oldest becoming practically fluent. As we travel more extensively they pick up bits and pieces every place we go. Some say this hard wires their brains in such a way that language will most likely always be easier for them. I buy that.
And they have a knack of picking up the tone the best. I can get vocabulary down but the accent, no way! They pick up the correct tone without even knowing it. We can now say "Thank you" in six languages and can just about order food in all of them as well.
Geography, history, culture
I guess this one was bound to happen, but our 3 kids have a better knowledge of geography then I did even after high school. There is something about actually being out in the world that helps to really put the differences and similarities of a culture into perspective. They have become true global citizens, gathering knowledge of where we are on the planet and what makes a culture unique every place new we go.
 |
| Soaking up history in Granada, Nicaragua |
This, to me, is one of the most important things a person carries with them. It gives you perspective and a kindness that will return to you over and over. Empathy is a gift that can be cultivated where ever you are. When you travel and see the world through other's eyes, often times others that are struggling beyond your previous conception, it really accelerates your ability to empathize. Compassion for others is a trait most easily gained through seeing firsthand the suffering and joy of people who are at first glance different than you.
Courage to try new things
Before this trip my middle son was averse to trying anything new, he didn't even want to go anywhere that there was going to be a lot of people. Now he always at least tries new food and spends nearly everyday in an environment that he previously would have preferred to avoid. This has opened the world to him in ways we never could have conceived.
Let the little things go
Letting go of the little things is so important to enjoying life. And they're all little things, as the book says. Take any five people and coop them up together in planes, trains, automobiles and hotel rooms without a break in eleven months, and tensions can get high at times. But those close quarters also demand that grudges dissolve before they boil over.
The kids are also really learning to let go of possessiveness. Since we only carry around what we can fit in our backpacks, we don't have all the things we are used to that make life easier. So sharing is just accepted as necessary. Plus, everyday we see how happy others are with so very little and any of our complaints subside.
Adaptability
I believe adaptability is one of the most important intangible lessons that nomads learn. As the world enters a time of rapid change through technology and awareness, the ability to quickly adapt is essential. It's a characteristic that any university or corporation would value greatly in a potential alum/employee.
When you travel around to a new country, city or town often, you simply have to learn to adapt to new environments. Adapting to a new location, language, currency, foods, and cultures presents unique challenges that we face on a weekly basis. The boys have a new "home" often, and they've gotten progressively better at assimilating quickly.
Patience
The virtue of the gods, right? Can you even teach kids patience these days? Yes, try 11 months of travel. We wait for just about everything; transportation, taking turns using the bathroom in the hotel room, meals that are cooked one at a time when we're really hungry, etc. And forgot about how many times we get lost and have to backtrack. Our patience muscle gets a work out every day.
We have all slowly gained the ability to keep time in perspective and wait for things contently -- which is quite a feat for Americans who are used to being fast-food brats. Admittedly, our five-year-old is still struggling in the patience department, but his occasional tantrums actually require more patience from the rest of us.
Socializing
Socialization is always one of the biggest concerns when homeschooling. Add in travel and moving around so much, and one could get even more concerned about meaningful socialization. Yet, we find that travel pushes us outside of our comfort zone and into the arms of the friendly locals we have met all over the world, not to mention other travelers who are just as intrigued about us as we are of them. Being out and about on a bus or train, talking to the drivers or travelers about where to go, where to eat, or what to do, removes the fear of engaging new people in conversation.
Although we naturally miss good friends and family, we've met so many terrific people on the road that we'd never have met without this adventure.
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| C approaching a stranger for a chat! |
When you live a stationary life, it's easy to surround yourself with people just like you. Like everyone else, we had a core group of friends who we spent most of our time with when we had a home base leaving little time for meeting new people and getting new perspectives.
Many countries have incredible religious and cultural diversity living in harmony. By viewing tolerance in these countries, the kids experience how people can live together with opposing viewpoints. Traveling also forces us to see the similarities in people that, at first glance, are far different from us. Everyone around the world seems to desire a peaceful, happy, and sufficiently prosperous existence for themselves and their families. Just by recognizing these similarities, it's impossible to think of anyone as less than equal.
Don't get me wrong, not everyday is an obvious learning experience, but the aggregate is beginning to bear fruit.......?
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Social media is filled with advertisements and posts from people talking about kids going back to school this week. This is always the time of year when I am most happy that we have chosen to homeschool our kids.
The thought of all my guys rushing to get out the door every morning and being away all day makes me so sad. Even in those moments when I am uncertain about our decision to homeschool because the kids are driving me nuts, all I need to do is think about the alternative and I snap back to being grateful.
We unschool our 3 boys, and aside from a couple failed attempts at seeing what school is like, they have not attended school. But I did, and so did my husband and all of our friends and family. I have some good memories of school and things I did enjoy, but the majority of my memories are not so wonderful. Mostly, I remember feeling controlled and exhausted!
So as all of America's youth heads back to school, I can not help but draw some comparisons as to how they'll spend their days versus how our kids will.
What school children will be doing on a daily basis:
***I am often asked to define just what they do in a day; they read books, comics, or online through games. They build houses, run cities, and learn to farm with their friends from around the world. They play with legos, with playdoh, draw and color, play card games, and so much more. They swim, play badminton, soccer, build sand castles at the beach, go on hikes, and talk to people of all ages. They speak multiple languages, observe different cultures and religions in practice, and seek out answers to the questions they formulate. They feel little pressure in a day and are happy with their choices and we all feel good about that.
As an aside, I know a lot of readers will think it absurd that our kids make so many of their own choices. You may say, how can they live in a world where there are rules yet they spent their childhood not preparing to deal with that?
I understand those thoughts and I use to have them as well, but my kids do plenty that they do not wish to, They have some rules like respecting others and displaying good manners. They know their actions affect others and are conscience of that.
And they have chores with an allowance. They help in our household because it is important that they understand this is a small community and if they are a part of it, they need to be a helpful positive force within it. And they are! They understand that life is not all what you want to do, as sometimes you must traverse a steep climb to enjoy the exhilaration of coasting down it.
I also think that the notion of having to live your life for someone else, doing things all the time that you have no desire to do, is not reality! Not the reality we want for them anyways. That is what school trains us to believe. In contrast, we believe that by living our lives in the manner that we do, the children will see the world for ALL of its possibilities and follow their own passions. They have faith in themselves, and support and encouragement from those that surround them.
It's been well documented that compulsory schools destroy what naturally occurs in our children, their innate sense of wonder, a creativity that no adult can rival, and a deep need to learn from everything in their path! When we force things, all day long, on our children it squashes who they might have become in order to make them who we think they should be! Success and joy is in the eye of the beholder!
Putting all other issues aside, which is the type of day you wanted as a child and which is the type of day that you want for your children??
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| No school for me! |
We unschool our 3 boys, and aside from a couple failed attempts at seeing what school is like, they have not attended school. But I did, and so did my husband and all of our friends and family. I have some good memories of school and things I did enjoy, but the majority of my memories are not so wonderful. Mostly, I remember feeling controlled and exhausted!
So as all of America's youth heads back to school, I can not help but draw some comparisons as to how they'll spend their days versus how our kids will.
What school children will be doing on a daily basis:
- Waking up to an alarm (likely around 6-7 am) in order to dress, scarf down a meal, and rush to catch the bus. Most won't get all the sleep that their bodies crave.
- They will then sit on a bus for the next 10-50 minutes
- Once at school they will spend their days being herded around like cattle, forced to change what they are doing every 45 minutes by the sound of a loud bell. With no importance being placed on what they want, desire, or need.
- Art, music, and physical activity will be deemed only important enough to fill a small time frame 1-2 times a week. There are very few breaks in a day so most days children are forced to work and concentrate for 6-8 hours straight!
- Children will arrive home somewhere around 4pm with a list of homework to be completed, not to mention projects, drills, extra activities, baths, dinner, etc. This will leave very little time for interaction with siblings, parents, or time to spend on what it is that they are passionate about.
- By 8 or 9pm it will be time for bed so they aren't exhausted when that alarm goes off, yet again, the very next morning!
- Overall, there is very little "free" time in which a child can unwind, go on fun "field trips" with family, explore the outdoors, or just play what ever, with who ever, they deem important! This diminishes their ability to feel that their choices or desires are important!
What my unschooled children will be doing instead:
- Waking up each and every day when their bodies tell them to. Everyone is on a different rhythm and I believe that they need to follow theirs in order to feel most rested and content over all. My 3 boys each wake up at different times unless we have an event planned necessitating they get up earlier.
- They eat when their bodies are hungry, and spend very little time feeling rushed to do anything.
- My children will play all day long! ***
- Art, music, and physical activity will be a naturally occurring theme every day! They know that what matters to them is important because there are no inexplicable bells telling them they must stop whatever they are doing in order to do what we say is more important.
- At the end of the day we can see how much we all learned because being a part of the real world is nothing but a lesson every minute. They shower when they need to, spend time playing until late in the evening, and can feel relaxed all day. They also play with one another and enjoy the ins and outs of siblings on a much larger scale then most.
- They go to bed when they are ready, when their bodies signal a feeling of being tired, and have a greater knowledge of how their bodies work in having control over it. And they get to do it all again the next day!
- They spend every day with us, people who love them, respect them, and support their desires. Not every moment is perfect but they also learn from that too.
***I am often asked to define just what they do in a day; they read books, comics, or online through games. They build houses, run cities, and learn to farm with their friends from around the world. They play with legos, with playdoh, draw and color, play card games, and so much more. They swim, play badminton, soccer, build sand castles at the beach, go on hikes, and talk to people of all ages. They speak multiple languages, observe different cultures and religions in practice, and seek out answers to the questions they formulate. They feel little pressure in a day and are happy with their choices and we all feel good about that.
I understand those thoughts and I use to have them as well, but my kids do plenty that they do not wish to, They have some rules like respecting others and displaying good manners. They know their actions affect others and are conscience of that.
And they have chores with an allowance. They help in our household because it is important that they understand this is a small community and if they are a part of it, they need to be a helpful positive force within it. And they are! They understand that life is not all what you want to do, as sometimes you must traverse a steep climb to enjoy the exhilaration of coasting down it.
I also think that the notion of having to live your life for someone else, doing things all the time that you have no desire to do, is not reality! Not the reality we want for them anyways. That is what school trains us to believe. In contrast, we believe that by living our lives in the manner that we do, the children will see the world for ALL of its possibilities and follow their own passions. They have faith in themselves, and support and encouragement from those that surround them.
It's been well documented that compulsory schools destroy what naturally occurs in our children, their innate sense of wonder, a creativity that no adult can rival, and a deep need to learn from everything in their path! When we force things, all day long, on our children it squashes who they might have become in order to make them who we think they should be! Success and joy is in the eye of the beholder!
Putting all other issues aside, which is the type of day you wanted as a child and which is the type of day that you want for your children??
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