Happy Mother's Day...a different take

This Mother's Day I want to pay tribute to those 3 precious boys that make me who I am...a mother!   And also to address a common "thing" going on lately, pitting us moms against one another!

My wonderful boys that make it possible to live my dreams!

First and foremost to my boys, without whom I would never be able to fulfill my dreams of loving, nurturing, guiding, and seeing through the eyes of innocence.  They are responsible for nearly all of my happiness, learning, and personal growth.  Without them this trip would not be the same, I would not be pushed to face my fears like I was in that cave in Laos, nor would I be so inclined to work on myself as a person.

I owe them who I am and who I will be.  I intend to do my best for them and make the changes in myself that I value most for them.  I love the job they have given me and nearly everyday feel like it is my boys that deserve celebrating!


Now don't get me wrong, I have days of wanting an escape, wanting to pull my hair out, of sadness, of feeling like a failure, of feeling overwhelmed, you name it. And I have felt that emotion in regards to parenting.  It is the hardest job on the planet.  But it is also one of the most rewarding and certainly the most important things I feel I will ever do.

Be able to witness the boys relationship grow is one of the most amazing gifts!

A lot of attention has been paid in the last week to attachment parenting, even Time Magazine has weighed in with a shock value cover photo along with a tagline "Are you Mother enough?", clearly made to bring out the competitiveness in us all.  As a parent who considers herself in the attachment genre, and one that feels pretty strongly about it, I am aggravated!

I don't want mothers worrying about what everyone else is doing, or feeling like a failure because she didn't breastfeed for as long as the mother down the street.  It is healthy to feel competitive? We are often pushed to do our best through that feeling, but when you pit one lifestyle against another all it breeds is intolerance, defensiveness, and a whole lot of feelings of failure.  It is time to embrace our community and stop fighting about what philosophy is best!

Most parents I know do their best because they love their children and want the best for them.  Just because I feel that one lifestyle works for us, by no way means that I think it is what everyone should do.  We are attachment parents and unschoolers, some would even call us radical, but I try to not worry about these labels.  I only use them because it makes it easier to describe what we believe. But, at the end of the day, I take what ever works for us from whatever philosophy is right for us.

That is what I think we all need to do.  Stop worrying about a label, about other moms, and focus on what makes you and yours happy!  You really can't go wrong if you do that and know that you have tried your hardest to solicit the outcome for your children that you value most.

I wish for so many things for my boys as they approach adulthood, most importantly that they find love, that they are deeply happy, that they are kind to everyone, and that they see and enjoy true freedom in their lives.  No matter how you get to that or even if you value different outcomes for your children, it matters not.

Do what works for your family, avoid following a label, learn from who you can, discard who or what brings you sadness or negativity and, above all, stop worrying about what others are doing, saying, or pretending!  You and your children will be better of for it!

A couple years ago

So Happy Mother's day to all of you moms or moms to be that learn everyday from your kids, who are grateful for the privilege of being moms, and who find a way to make it all work!  Have a great day, celebrate yourself and your decisions, and enjoy the ones that make being a mom possible!